Fathers Are Pregnant Too!

There is no argument about the fact that expectant mothers go through a tough nine months of pregnancy. Their bodies experience vast changes which can last up until the time they are able to wean their babies from breast milk. Sadly, during this long time, nobody really considers the father.
He is expected to play his part, but often feels helpless, able to do little more than cook a meal or give a massage. Things can be made even more difficult if his partner is suffering the effects of her raging hormones, and he may end up feeling that he can't do right for doing wrong - no matter how hard he may try.

In dad forums we can read how the expectant father feels: excited, scared, worried, amazed; again, fathers can enumerate a whole range of emotions he may feel. But how do these feelings affect a man physically? How much can a father be physically pregnant, and actually "feel" what his partner goes through?

For all the fathers to be, there is some interesting news for you. Cross-cultural studies have revealed that men can experience hormonal changes during their partner's pregnancy which in turn cause them to feel unwell. There is evidence which shows that in some traditional societies, fathers feel so deeply connected to their unborn child that they show very similar symptoms of pregnancy and even birth. This phenomenon has been called couvade which is a Basque word meaning "brood" or "hatch".

Couvade men can suffer from morning sickness, tooth aches, and even the same gestational problems as their expectant partners. A study of more than 250 expectant mothers and their partners revealed that at least 22.5% of the male partners reported at least one unexplainable ailment to their doctor. These symptoms were new to the men, but strikingly similar to those reported by their pregnant partners. The expectant fathers also visited the doctor twice as often, and filled twice as many prescriptions, during their partners' pregnancy than they had before. In addition, many expectant fathers reported an average weight gain of approximately 4kg.

During their partner's labour, extremely couvade fathers-to-be feel very weak, and may even experience pain to the extent that they have to be looked after by medical personnel and close relatives. After the birth, 62% of fathers interviewed felt sadness and disappointment at about the same time as the mother did, even reporting some kind of postnatal depression.

Two Canadian studies have shown that a father's hormones can alter during his partner's pregnancy, with a marked increase in the milk producing hormone prolactine. This hormone helps promote the breeding habits in male birds, which may help to explain why the levels of this otherwise useless hormone increase in men. Testosterone levels have also been shown to decrease by about one third after the birth of the child. It is thought that this decrease leads to a more nurturing attitude in men; and that the greater the decrease, the more caring a father will be.

After a baby is born, fathers experience the same kind of emotions as their partners when first looking at and holding the baby. Their initial reaction to the baby mirrors that of the mother, beginning with the exploration of the baby's body - fingers first, then palms, arms and legs and finally the trunk. The pitch of the voice changes just like their partner's and they use shorter phrases and more repetitions. Even in controlled laboratory experiments, where mother, father and baby were videotaped to examine their interaction during play; it was observed that fathers gave the same responses to their baby's movements, and were just as sensitive to his cries as the mothers were.

The fact that fathers can feel pregnant too is easily explained. Humans are amongst the few species whose offspring are totally reliant until well into a juvenile age. So many years of caring, feeding, and protecting cannot be mastered by the mother only; so nature has taken care of this through the art of male bonding. Over time, a bond between father and baby can be just as strong as between mother and baby.

With all this in mind, we may come to a more homogenous understanding of how both mother and father are equipped to bond and care for their baby. In our society we have always anticipated the mother as being the one who experiences the magnitude of emotions; but we must remember that fathers are also experiencing these emotions. Whilst they may not gestate or lactate as mothers do, they can care, protect, and feed just as well. Bonds between father and baby can be equally as strong as they are between mother and baby; and we should try and understand the pressure fathers face in the physical anticipation, as well as in their social expectations.