One of the things that happens when you find out you are expecting is that you jump ahead and think about when the baby is born. The cries, the poop, the feeding and the expenses. It's natural and normal to think about what will happen when the baby arrives. What people don't realize at first is there is quite a while until that day comes and it's going to be just as challenging, stressful, and exciting and rewarding if you are able to enjoy it.
You never appreciate a woman until you have a baby with them and that is the truth. Pregnancy is hard and that's me speaking as a man. It's unbelievable what women go through and though some women love being pregnant, while others may not be too fond in all cases is definitely exhausting and wearisome. These are some helpful things to not only pass the time until that fateful day, but allows you to enjoy what you have now before it is changed forever.
You are going to constantly hear people joking to get your rest but in reality a nap now isn't going to affect you in months or even weeks when the baby arrives. It's important to do the things you want to do now because once that baby comes it may be a while before you are able, or even want to do it again.
Be practical and take mom's health and feelings into consideration but go to a concert or sports event. Go out for a nice relaxing dinner, or a movie. So instead of snoozing now before the baby comes, do the things you won't be able to with the new addition.
Months 4, 5, 6 are the best time to do everything. It's also the most recommended time to fly if you want to take a vacation. Plan ahead and try to keep things on the calendar to look forward to that takes the focus off just counting til the baby comes which may make time drag.
I know the baby shower is her thing, we're supposed to get lost until the end to pick up the gifts. A suggestion to make is to try to do it early because sometimes mom is on bed rest, sometimes babies come early. She doesn't want to have the baby before the shower and you want to have enough time to sort it all out and put it all together. She may wonder why you care when the shower is, but suggest it early and you may be her hero later on.
Try to take the classes that are offered. Whether it be Lamaze, a breast feeding class, or a general pregnancy class they are helpful and informative. It's not the answers to the questions you have going into the class, but the questions that you have when you leave and never thought of that make the class worth while. These classes are great because they get you and your partner talking about things you may have never even thought of. Be excited about the birth, take interest, ask questions and show her that what she is going through is important to you.
Again the best time to do this is months 4, 5, and 6 because they can be very uncomfortable for her as pregnancy goes on. Also try to visit the place you will deliver. It's helpful to take away some of the anxiety when you can picture where it's going to happen.
Inevitably you will be part of the daddy club when the baby arrives. What I mean is to start reading about being a dad, getting past the pregnancy and hear the first hand accounts of what's in store. Though some of the stories may be scary it's also unbelievably exciting about the things to come. Write down or talk about some of the things you did as a kid that you want to share with the new addition when the time is right.
Pregnancy can be taxing both on you and her. It's important that you know how she feels, and what she is going through. It's also crucial that she know you appreciate everything she is doing and that you are excited about the baby and will do whatever you can to help her.
Some of the ways to do this are to be creative and get her gifts. It doesn't have to be too luxurious or expensive because you do have a baby on the way, but rather special and sentimental.
For instance, at the 20 week date buy her a birthday cake, cut it in half and give it to her signifying she's half way there. Write a special note like "Thanks Mom" or "I'll see you soon". Maybe save the other half for when the baby is born.
Buy a ribbon and measure her belly every week so after the baby is here you can recall how big she was. She may not be too excited about it at the time but it's important that you embrace her look and weight gain. She may be self conscious about her increased weight but she needs to know you find her sexy, welcome her growth because it's good for the baby and that you don't see her any differently. If you're like me you may even grow a bigger belly yourself just so she isn't so self conscious.
Get cards every now and then, both from you as well as the baby thanking her for everything she is doing. It's just a few bucks but it will definitely show her you realize what she is going through. Give her a massage, do the extra work around the house so she can rest and feel better.
It's very important to be flexible and understanding because she may be all excited to go to dinner one minute and feeling sick as you pull into the restaurant. Arguing with a pregnant woman isn't a good idea because you won't win but by being understanding you will both be happier going home with takeout or something delivered.
Try to be knowledgeable and read about what's happening and also about what's next. Be prepared for what's to come in the next few weeks and starts to develop symptoms that she didn't have before. It will make both of you feel better if you can explain to her what's going on, why and how to deal with it. She will feel more secure and you will feel better about being active and having a clue.
Do things as soon as you can because you never know what the future holds or what you may be doing in a week. Get the carseat in, pack the hospital bag, hers and yours and prep the nursery. All these things are like having your generator ready during a storm. It's better to have it ready and not need it, than need it and not have it.
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